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Posts tagged “parenting humor

Full contact word play; boys are weird

My crew was bashing each other as they rolled up the stairs from sidewall to sidewall.

“Quit fighting!”

They stopped and looked at me in surprise. “We’re not fighting.”

Chaos ensues.

“Well then stop rough-housing!”

Pure innocence and a nanosecond of silence. “We’re not rough-housing!”

mmrrrph. I come by the marge simpson marge noise naturally it seems.

“What ARE you doing?

“Playing a word game.”

So I listen more closely to the sing song sounds under the swinging arms and headlocks.

My 4 yr old lisps “What do you get if you take a D off of Door?”
Big Bro “Oar! And What’s an Oar?” “A paddle”
4 yr old “and if you put an M on Oar what do you get?”
“More!”

Why do all boy games need to be full contact?

I kicked them outside and they kept it up.

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The joys of sand


These are the moments that make life worthwhile; Cooking for assholes

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I was just sitting watching  # 3 eat, thinking about how amazing he was, how beautiful he was and how lucky I was to have him.

He chased his blueberries around his highchair tray with a fork, and then purposefully put the berry on the fork, and rammed the forked berry into his mouth.  It was amazing.

And he has done it before.  And billions of other babies have done it, and will do it.

That isn’t what is amazing.

What is amazing is watching his months of frustration, months of watching, months of practising pay off in a tiny victory.  How do I know it is a victory?  He crows.  In such sheer joy with himself, he crows.  He is not talking, but he is only 15 months of course.  He has lots of sounds, he is just amazing at communicating without being able to speak- unless you count the bampa/mama/dada kinda sounds.

I wonder if there is any way to know this feeling of witnessing such  awe-inspiring personal triumph unless you have been a caregiver?  I remember this feeling with my Grandmother, my mother’s mother when she was dying.  I sat, huge and pregnant with my first by her bedside over the months becoming increasingly in awe of her ability to sip her tea.  What simple triumphs have amazed you?

 Plain Muffins

These are just plain muffins.  What do you mean what kind?  They are plain.  Sure, you can put ketchup on it.  Sure, you can put butter on it.  Sure, you can put jam on it.  These are just plain muffins.

“It has nothing in it, they are so Lummy!” squeels his Lordship as he plays an intricate game of Butterfly Zombie (WTF?) with his muffins.

“Oh yuck!  Gross. These taste just like egg muffins!” I guess Coach Rapper thinks they are a fail.  He ate a bowlful of peanut butter topped with a swirl of honey and fruit.  That’s balanced right?

#3 likes them, but he will eat anything, like dog food or rusty nails, so he doesn’t count.

Plain Muffins:  3 eggs, 1/4 cup melted butter, 1/2 cup flour (I used fine ground spelt), 1tsp baking powder, 1/2 cup finely grated mild cheese, 1/4 cup water.  Cook at 350 for about 18 minutes.  This made 12 small but not mini silicone muffin cup muffins.  His Lordship would not eat the egg muffins I cooked in metal.


“When do we get to see the real art?”

You know that kid.

The one that said that during the gallery opening today?

No.  No,  he isn’t with me.

He is with her- yeah, that lady over there.

(backs away slowly and then runs)